Inside the Secret Facebook Group Where Women Review Men They’ve Dated
There are no good single men around to be found in New York City. As far as I can tell, everybody says to us. And when Deanna* relocated to the city at the end of 2021 It was her turn to investigate if there’s any truth in the claim. Freshly single after having a boyfriend who had been dating her for three months split with her on Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. It was about this time that a Facebook group known as Is we Dating the same Guy NYC was launched as the recommended follow. The group featured a thorough prescreen survey as well as guidelines for community members which served as a barrier to entry. It had comprised of 43,000 people. Deanna was interested, so she joined.
The community
The group was founded in the exact purpose to assist women in determining whether they were dating others – was founded in the month of March 2022. Each major US city has a similar group now, and the rules for everyone are clear: Anyone is allowed to post anonymously, with no restrictions on doxxing or posting sensitive information, and in no circumstance can screenshots be taken away from the group. No bullying, no victim blaming or hate speech. Don’t tell a guy that he’s seen on the list.Join Us https://datingfortodaysman.com/ website In the wake from West Elm Caleb, who was a man with whom numerous women in New York shared negative dating experiences and made connections on the internet, it was apparent that many women were in the market to find a way to seek out similar men to him. As one TikTok user wrote at the time This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.
It’s a lot like the way this group was when Deanna joined. Each edition of Are We Dating the Same Guy can be used as a site for women seeking love advice or share their concerns about a man with whom they’ve had a bad relationship experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is how they send them other women to lure them through social media has also become a common practice. It’s easy for a person to fall into a into a puddle of screenshots Hinge profiles, tales of failed hookups, and memes about the difficulties of modern dating. The most well-known posts consist of photos of a guy with his initials, requesting whether someone has matched or been a date with the person in question. Emojis with red flags are a common sight on sparse yet alarming posts that warn of an ex-partner or a bad date that are usually accompanied by a downward arrow as well as the frightening phrase See comments for more info.
The popularity of online dating has been a major factor in our chances in recent times the last few years, with one study revealing that around 39 percent of heterosexual couples met their spouse online. So it makes sense that the romantic side of romance would change to the digital age. Instead of hanging out with few friends over drinks or venting to colleagues, we are seeking advice from 43,000 women who have experienced similar – and in some cases precisely the same experiences.
It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie who is a group member. Not saying that there’sn’t advantages, but it was certainly useful for me in terms of rethinking my thinking about dating. It’s not a contest against other girls, it’s instead holding men to a different level than I was before.
It’s not lost on me that some of the conduct that’s encouraged and facilitated in Are We the Dating the Same Guy would be cause for concern if exhibited by potential suitors. Photos, photos of private messages, and screenshots published without the permission of the other person or knowledge are numerous. The public is able to search social media profiles on an almost daily basis. And it doesn’t take much for a potential date to be placed in the spotlight. Though Deanna likes being part of the group, she has reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‘If he wanted to, he would’ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she says. But I’m sure you have to deal with the fact that there’s this echo chamber of ‘Men have repeatedly pushed us for so long that we’re going to take it back.
We are still an patriarchal society
We’re still living in an oppressive society. Until we’re truly equal those online interactions could be different in their impact based on what background each person comes from. But, can a group like this really be empowered in a positive way on one side on the other hand and be a source of reprehensible outrage on the contrary? Are We Dating the Same Guy? Is it hyperlocal and interconnected, which is only beneficial to those who live and have a relationship in the area the group is based in. The women, and the men they write about might be your neighbor you work with, a friend, relatives, or even the most the most recent Hinge match. Yet, there’s a sense of depersonalization that occurs when operating on the internet, which makes this all seem like it’s a game. It’s not an unreasonable idea to say that this is a form of objectification to the dates in both of the groups. Especially when the details of private conversations, interactions and even pictures can be shared without information or consent. Often, this is for the purpose of sheer entertainment.